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Texting an ally for parents and teens? Not so sure.
In the September 23, 2009, Des Moines Register there was an article called “Embracing text-nology” which encourages parents to see texting as an ally in communicating with their children. Psychologist Thomas W. Phelan was quoted saying “one of the biggest problems with teens is getting them to communicate at all, so if they’re willing to text their parents, we should embrace the trend.” Phelan uses an example of a parent who cannot talk to her son very well face to face, but he is willing to use texts for communicating with his mother. He approves of the son’s behavior because Phelan’s philosophy is “stay in touch, whether by e-mail, cell phone or text – it makes no difference to me.”
Maybe I’m showing my generational ineptness (Baby Boomer who is 56), but I find Phelan’s remarks alarming and disturbing! Being the father of a 25 and 20-year old, I can tell you that face to face communication is critical to establish throughout the times my adult children were children.
Where are the “heart-to-heart” talks that happen late at night when your daughter breaks up with her boyfriend, or your son struggles with making decisions about college choices, or both of them need help to sort out what friendship is about? You don’t do it texting, my friend.
Texting cannot replace the powerful nurturing and bonding that goes with personal conversations at the dining room table, standing and shooting the breeze in the kitchen, chats while in the car, or late nights in their bedrooms talking about their fears and joys. Any parent who believes otherwise will end up with a “long distance” relationship with their children.
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